when the world turns upside down
by cocoagua
Summary: Blair prepared a lengthy speech about lost loves and regrets.


**A/N:** I got bored and when I get bored I think of Dair. When I think of Dair I feel physical pain. I just had to share my pain. This sucks I'm sorry.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not even the right to a breakup scene (yup not over it yet.)

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She approaches him first. Her back is straight, her stomach is tucked in. Her summer dress flows with the wind as she walks towards him. He cut his hair and she silently wishes that he did it for her. She wishes that he'll turn to his side, meet her eyes and welcome her with the sheepish grin she got used to seeing. But he doesn't turn; he just continues to animatedly talk to a girl – long legged and beautiful. She is not a blonde and Blair smiles to herself. _Brunette. _ _At least he has not completely regressed to Serena land_, she thought.

Blair continues to walk and she takes a long deep breath, raising her finger to tap his shoulder. As she does, the brunette signals to Dan and he turns, catching her midtap. His expression goes from surprise to mild irritation, to anger and then indifference. His dark eyes bore into her and she slowly drops her hand to her side, not knowing what to say.

She stares at him, taking him in. She had practiced a speech. A very lengthy dialogue about happiness, regrets, mistakes, what-ifs, love and lost chances. She took a considerable amount of her time pacing her bedroom, facing the mirror, saying things out loud, editing things out and trying to make everything perfect. But at this specific moment, this moment where she's faced with Dan Humphrey, she learns that no amount of practice can breeze you through a long overdue confrontation about love and hate. She cannot tell where he stands now, judging by his expression. But given the unorthodox manner that she broke up (left) with him, she can venture on a guess that deep inside he wants to burn her alive.

"Waldorf!" His voice snaps her out of her contemplation. She can't help but notice how sharp he said her name. It sounded worse than how he regarded her back in high school. Back then, he said her name teasingly, not angrily. So she couldn't help but stutter - a nervous trait that could only be attributed to Dan. But there she is, reduced to a stuttering mess in front of Dan Humphrey.

"H-h-hi..Dan.. I… I just wanted to say.. hi." She wonders what happened to her carefully practiced speech and curses herself. He lets out a low rumble, and for a moment she thinks he is laughing at her playfully. But he isn't laughing, he's letting out his frustration as discreetly as he can. He looks at her then shakes his head and takes the other brunette's hand.

"Well you've said what you wanted to say, so I'll just go ahead." So she watches him as he starts to walk away with another girl. Somehow she manages to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. She really has a lot to say, it's all at the tip of her tongue. And all she could manage was a pathetic greeting. _Hi? Who says hi like that?_

She watches as he whispers something to the other brunette's ear. The girl nods and goes ahead without him. He turns around to look at her.

"You know you shouldn't be answering to 'Waldorf' anymore… Mrs. Bass." That's what makes her cry. He stands there and watches her, his expression softer than it was when she first approached him. She cries, fighting the urge to bury her face against his chest and just let go. He stays still, watching her, trying hard to keep himself from pulling her closer to him.

"I'm so… sorry." That's all she says. He lets out a sigh and nods, slowly.

"I know." He answers.

They don't know how long they stayed that way. But she prepared a speech - a lengthy one. A speech about how she has lost the love that she most treasured. A speech about how things would probably be different if she made a different choice a year and a half ago. A speech about how she has loved him in a way that she never thought possible, but was too afraid to show it. A speech about how happy he made her but she was too much of a coward to accept it. That's what her speech was all about - their love.

But standing there in front of Dan Humphrey, she realizes that some things are meant to be left unsaid.

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**What do you think? :)**


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